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Right. I’m Lucard. If you’re here you probably know me from one of the following ways:

1. You used to read Retrograding, my column on video games.

2. You currently read my video game reviews at Insidepulse.com

3. You read Nyogtha, my column on folklore.

4. You read Pokemon Magazine or are in some way, shape, and form, a Pokemaniac.

5. You used to read me on Livejournal (and don’t worry, you will again.) and noticed I had to move shop because LJ Abuse fully supports 65 year old British lunatics stalking me and harrassing me because they believe I am Dracula.

6. You are a vampire hunter.

7. You’re a vampire who was erroneously told I was Dracula and you’re looking for someone to help you through the pain of your unlife. Go back and read #4. You’ll know I’m not the man you’re looking for.

8. You use or have used the FISH! Philosophy products in your place of work.

9. You used to read the VC over at the long since dead wbs.net or when it was part of the Go Network. If that’s the case, let me be the first to congradulate you on being old.

10. I have had sex with you which inevitably drove you batshit insane and now you stalk me.