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DVD of the Day #89 - Satanic

Another day, another bad horror movie. To be honest, this wasn’t THAT bad, but it still wasn’t that good. From the name you’re probably expecting an over the top horror film involving demons, but what you actually get is a murder mystery with a hint of possible supernatural activity and a whole lot of attractive batshit crazy ladies.

The plot is kind of neat. A girl named Michelle awakens after a car accident that killed her father and left her so hideously injured, they had to rebuild her face from scratch. After months in a hospital, Michelle is finally healed up and ready to go to a halfway house (as she is now an orphan) filled with though love wacky Christians and naughty rebellious teens. Although Michelle is sweet and demure, she discovers an Ouija board inked in human blood and starts to have flashbacks of gruesome deaths, possibly murdering a young girl name Kayla, and a lot of devil worship. Although she can’t remember or even believe that she would ever do these things, the proof is undeniable that she was a rather naughty lass. Then one by one, people around Michelle begins to die.

As Michelle tries to figure out why these people are dying we’re given a wacky revelation about who she is and more importantly, who is doing the killing in a nice little twist that makes the movie worth watching. However this enjoyment is soon cut short by a very insipid ending which is also quite abrupt. The movie does sport a nice little cameo from Jeffery Combs, which is actually why I chose to watch this. A supporting actress role goes to Eliza Swenson, who was the stripper in the softcorn porno Pineapple I review 22 days ago. yes, we see naughty bits again from her.

In the end this movie was a slightly better than expected low budget thriller that had a neat story, but due to the plot rest on one particular gimmick, it’s not worth watching a second time. The acting is mediocre at best, and you can definitely tell why none of these actors save Combs has ever done anything major, but then this was a 1 day paycheck with 5 minutes of screen time for him where everyone else was considering this a “big break.” I’ve reviewed far worse movies over the past three months, and though I can’t recommend this for a purchase, I can recommend it for a rental or a one-time viewing for those of you who like thrillers or outside the box horror films.

No demons or satanic monsters though. Just a head’s up.

Is It Worth Keeping? No, but it was worth watching.
Rating: 4/10

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