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Archive for October, 2009

Review #311

Saturday, October 17th, 2009

A Boy and His Blob
Developer: WayForward
Publisher: Majesco
Genre: Platformer
Release Date: 10/13/2009

The original A Boy and His Blob was a very popular franchise back in the early days of gaming. Absolute Entertainment developer both it and the Game Boy sequel, The Rescue of Princess Blobette. Both games were developed by David Crane, the mastermind behind the original Pitfall, Grand Prix, Night Trap and Ghostbusters games and was considered one of the most instrumental forces behind the early days of Atari and Activision. The original A Boy and His Blob would win Game of the Year from nearly every gaming publication in 1989, which the sequel earning less praise, but still being both a critical and financial success. The third game in Crane’s series A Boy and His Blob: Jelly’s Cosmic Adventure was supposed to be released in 2002 for the Game Boy Advance, but it was ultimately cancelled. IN 2005, a DS remake of the original game was supposed to be released by Skyworks Technologies and the publisher Majesco, but this too was cancelled. Considering Skyworks track record, this can only be a good thing.

Now here we are in 2009 and Majesco has finally made use of their ownership of the A Boy and His Blob license, teaming up with WayForward to start the franchise over with the same basic story and gameplay, but all new levels and modern graphics. I have to admit my first experience with Wayforward was the odd side-scrolling beat ‘em drama WWF Betrayal, which is better left forgotten. They did, however, give me Sigma Star Saga which won several awards from us in 2005. I haven’t actually played a game by them since, but with nostalgia firmly behind me, I wanted to see if A Boy and His Blob would do David Crane proud, even though he wasn’t actually involved in this production, and there are little to no nods to either of the first two titles.

So how does the new A Boy and His Blob hold up?
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DVD of the Day #290 - Eurotrip: Unrated

Saturday, October 17th, 2009

I can’t begin to tell you why I love this movie so much; I just do. It could be because it is one of the most quotable movies I can think of. It could be because bits of this movie have happened to myself and my friend Dan and this + Super Troopers equal our wacky bro bud films. It could be because it’s just crazy funny and it’s almost a nonstop lastfest.

The movie is about Scott Thomas and how his girlfriend Fiona is a whore. In retaliation for being dumped on his high school graduation day, he and his best friend, Cooper Harris, go to Europe in search of his sexy pen pal Mike so they can have crazy European sex. On the way they encounter football hooligans, do battle with a robot street performer, attend the international house of sausage, visit club wundersexx, meet the “escuse” guy, travel to Eastern Europe, watch two twins make out with each other and accidentally become Pope.

This movie is just fucking awesome. Everyone I’ve shown it to has loved it and it remains one of the most underrated comedies ever.

Start your quote session kids, as this along with Super Troopers are quite possibly my two favorite comedies ever.

Is It Worth Keeping? YES
Rating: 9/10

DVD of the Day #289 - Race to Witch Mountain

Friday, October 16th, 2009

If you smell-la-la-low - what The Rock is cooking. Funny, I never liked Dwayne Johnson as a wrestler, but I like him as an actor. I love The Rundown and I own Southland Tales, but he even manages to be entertaining in simply awful films like Doom, Be Cool and Walking Tall. The Rock is simply a good actor and I am willing to try his films even if I won’t pay for them. That’s where Netflix comes in.

Race to Witch Mountain is a remake of Escape to Witch Mountain. Here The Rock is a family friendly ex mob driver turned cabbie who saves two aliens from a worldwide government conspiracy. He’s like Fox Mulder but less porn oriented. He’s good with his fists but also good with the strange children who talk funny and seem to have superhuman powers (Because they do and because they’re aliens) and the film is mostly nonstop action that kids will love while parents will neither be bored nor annoyed. The dialogue is tight and witty, the evil aliens are neat and the government conspirators are just missing a chain smoker to be completely evil across the board. Of course it’s Disney so there’s no chance of that.

I definte these types of films as “Entertaining Crap.” There’s throw-away films but they’re not mindless or awful. It’s just cheap one-shot summber blockbuster entertainment that manage to stick a decent plot in with the action. Basically something better than a Michael Bay film.

is It Worth Keeping? No, but it was worth watching
Rating: 5.5/10

Review #310

Thursday, October 15th, 2009

Valhalla Knights: Eldar Saga
Publisher: XSEED Games
Developer: K2
Genre Action RPG
Release Date: 10/01/2009

Since the release date of the Nintendo Wii, I’ve hungered for a quality RPG. So far we’ve had mediocre experiences like Baroque and Dragon Quest Swords but nothing truly great. The best the system has to offer are Pokemon Battle Revolution, which is just Pokemon battling and no actual role-playing per say, but you get neat stuff for your DS games, and Phantom Brave: We Meet Again, which while good, is a re-make of an old PS2 game from five years ago. If you needed another RPG to complete the triad, I suppose you could go with Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of the New World.

So of course when Valhalla Knights: Eldar Saga was announced I jumped on it. Now I knew that the first two games in the series, which were PSP games were critically panned, but obviously XSEED sold enough of them to localize the third one. Due to my ever-growing need for a solid RPG on Nintendo’s breeding ground for mini-games and exercise snake oil, I picked this up and spent an abnormal amount of time with it hoping that this would finally be the quality RPG that both I and the Wii needed.

Was it?
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DVD of the Day #288 -Gothkill

Thursday, October 15th, 2009

The brutal and honest truth is that Goths should not be allowed to make movies. Look at Gothic Vampires From Hell for example. it’s one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. It’s made by a few goths with a night club, a bunch of Kairo syrup and a handcam. Yet compared to the New York scene’s Gothkill, it is Lawrence of MotherFuckin’ Arabia.

The plot, as best I can tell, is that there is an evil priest from the Inquisition era who turned to Satanism because he couldn’t be as sadistic with the Pagans as he liked. Okay then. Then, after he died, he was given immortality by Satan until he killed 100,000 people who when then be his own to torture in hell for all eternity. At some point he started making cults of goths and then sacrificing them. Then the priest gets caught, sent to prison and hung for his atrocities. Then he comes back to life by possessing a goth chick who then kills an entire club of goths. Sometimes her body is his. Sometimes it is not. Who the fuck knows why. Eventually everyone in the club dies and the dude gets to be a duke of hell torturing people while red painted goth chicks meant to be demons that pleasure him as he very badly whips people.

I’m just going to say this right out - this is the worst film I have ever seen. EVER. Manos, the hands of fate? Better, even without the MST3King. Hobgoblins? Better. Wind Chills? Better. The acting was awful, the script was so nonsensical I had an easier time putting Lost Highway together than this piece of shit. The stabbing and killings were so poorly done it looked like preschoolers playing during recess. Everything about this film was horrible beyond everything I have ever seen in celluloid before.

Never ever get this movie.

Is It Worth Keeping?? Even if it is free you should hit whoever offers you this in the genitals.
Rating: 0/10. Yes. ZERO.

Why Running/Jogging > Biking

Thursday, October 15th, 2009

15 minutes of hard biking at 15 miles an hour = 60 calories lost

15 minutes of jogging at an average speed of 5.9 miles an hour = 160 calories lost

It gets exponentially greater from there.

DVD of the Day #287 - James Levine’s 25th Anniversary Metropolitan Opera Gala

Wednesday, October 14th, 2009

Oh. My. God. Did I just watch 294 minutes of Opera in a row without stopping. Oh jesus I’m insane and totally burned out on this. granted, this was background music while I did a massive amount of HMIS correction and then while working out, but oh man, my head is still swimming from it all.

I honestly can’t tell you what I heard, who sang, and what operas they were from. I’ll have to look at the DVD for that. Even so, the music was amazIng and this is considered one of the biggest and best opera compilations of all time. I still can’t believe I picked this up off Swapadvd.com for only two credits (roughly ten bucks) when it goes for over $100 used on amazon or ebay. Thank god I’m like the only person on that site that seems to care about Opera or Anime.

Anyway, this is probably a must have collection if you’re into Opera. I won’t deny the music was amazing, but I’ll have to listen to this at another time and specific pieces at a time rather than a marathon listening session like this.

Is It Worth Keeping Yes, especially for the monetary value.
Rating: 5.5/10

Review #309

Tuesday, October 13th, 2009

Thexder Neo
Publisher: Square-Enix
Developer: Zereo
Release Date: 10/01/2009
Genre: Tradtional Shooter

Square-Enix normally isn’t a company you think of when it comes to taking chances. They’re best known for RPG’s, primarily Dragon Quest and Final Fantasy. However they’ve definitely taken some chances within that genre with games ranging from Rings of Fate for the PSX to the upcoming Lord of Vermillion II.

When it comes to actually making or publishing games outside this genre, they’ve just started to get their feet wet thanks to the purchase of Taito and Eidos. Still, that’s using subsidiaries to test out other genres and not fully using the S-E brand. Right now the two biggest examples of Square publishing a non-RPG are Nanashi no Game, an awesome horror adventure game which will never see the light of day in the US and now Thexder Neo. This latter is a PSP exclusive traditional shooter released earlier this month that incorporates a fighter jet/mech transformation option similar to the old Robotech games.

Many of you probably aren’t familiar with the Thexder series, as it was primarily a PC series, although there was a NES release of the first game. The series was originally done by Game Arts and I have to admit, it’s an odd choice to revive as it was never very popular in the first place to its roots as a PC shooter rather than being released for arcades or consoles. So is Thexder Neo worth your ten dollars and room on your PSP’s memory, or was this a misfire by a company who you normally wouldn’t think of when it comes to shoot ‘em ups?
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DVD of the Day #286 - WWE Legends of Wrestling: Ric Flair and Sgt. Slaughter

Tuesday, October 13th, 2009

Here’s the second collection from the well…Legends of Wrestling Collection. Man, why do a collection in a collection? Anyway, this is a roundtable discussion on two wrestlers, and arugably the two biggest in the history of the sport not named Hulk Hogan. Your participants are Jim Ross, Michael Hayes, Pat Patterson, Mike Graham and Dusty Rhodes.

Of course a “Who is the greatest world champ ever” discussion occurs. Ross and Hayes choose Flair, Graham chooses Hogan, Rhodes chooses Harley Race and Patterson chooses someone else. I think Sammartino, but I forget.

The most interesting part of the DVD is that all the participants think Sgt. Slaughter made a BIG MISTAKE being part of G.I. Joe and that he could have made more money wrestling and ignoring Hasbro. What the hell? First of all, G.I. Joe was far bigger than any wrestling federation in the late 1980’s. Second, it made him more famous than any wrestler because he was known to wrestling fans AND every little kid ten and under now. Third, G.I. Joe made him a ton of money wheras the AWA was in its death throes. This is one of the stupidest things I’ve seen in a WWE documentary and it kind of ruined it because they tried to say G.I. Joe ruined Slaughter when really, it brought his career out of the dregs and made him big enough that Vince gave him the WWE title while promptly ruining him at the same time.

We get seven matches here.

1. Sgt. Slaughter Vs. Mike Rotundo. This is one of Rotundo’s first matches ever. Fun and it showcases Slaughter as United States Champion. 1/1

2. Sgt. Slaughter Vs. Bob Backlund in a NO DQ match. Backlund was an awful champ and the Philly crowd is solidly behind Slaughter here. He really should have gone over but Vince Sr. was booking here. Alas. Fun match though. 2/2

3. Sgt. Slaughter Vs. Iron Shiek. Bad match and the second in a row Slaughter looses. Why not show Slaughter winning? Bad match across the board. 2/3

4. Sgt, Slaughter Vs. Col. DeBeers. Wow, this is a bad match. There are so many better AWA choices to make. Slaughter/Zybysko people! Where is that match? 2/4

5. Ric Flair Vs. Lex Luger. Starccade ‘88! Luger almost wins but blows it again. Nice to have this finally on DVD as Luger has his A game on and Flair is always gold. 3/5

6. THUNDERDOME!!!! It’s Ric Flair and Sting Vs. Muta and Terry Funk in an electrified barb wire cage match where you can only lose by your manager throwing in the towel. Man, this was the match that made me a lifelong fan of wrestling. I started watching with wrestlewar and these four were my favorite faces and heels so to see them all in one crazy brutal match? Well it blew my 11 year old mind. Although it’s not as good 20 years later, it’s still amazing to see the cage burst into flames from the electricity and Muta puts it out with his mist. No, that wasn’t scripted. I would buy ANY DVD with this on it. Thankfully it’s on a fun one. 4/6.

7. Ric Flair Vs. Curt Hennig. This is from 1999. This is during the “Rap is Crap” era of Hennig. This isn’t their best match, but it’s one I’ve never seen on DVD and the two have such great chemistry is was fun to see. 5/7.

Fun roundtable, a nice collection of matches and HOLY SHIT IT’S THUNDERDOME! Whoooooo!

Is it Worth Keeping? Yes
Rating: 8/10

DVD of the Day #285 - Pokemon DP Battle Dimension Box Set 2

Monday, October 12th, 2009

This is the next set of episodes from the second season of the D/P anime series. You’re paying about a dollar per episode here and the collection has some really fun moments such as a four part series where May returns and eventually it comes down to May Vs.Dawn for the Wallace Cup. That was a lot of fun, even though May should have won, and that’s coming from someone who massively prefers Dawn.

You also get to see Ash get another badge, Ash square off with paul, a few Pokemon evolve and more. Hey, Ash even gets a Raichu which was an awesome development. Don’t worry, Pikachu doesn’t evolve. It’s something much different from what you expect…

Anyway, there’s not much to say here. I heart the Pokemon and Pokemon hearts me. This is a must buy for me and the D/P series is the freshest Pokemon has been since the Johto seasons. Even the theme song is catchy again.

Is It Worth Keeping? Duh.
Rating: 6.5/10