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Archive for December, 2006

Little Statistics to myself

Tuesday, December 26th, 2006

Trying to RSS my friend’s list from LJ, as right now I have to visit each one manually. Then as I was about to start in on it, I got curious and decided to see how many out of 300 people still on my F list actually update their journals.

75 out of my 300 friends are what I’d classified as “dead journals”, i.e., either the blogger is now dead, or they haven’t updated in 90 days or have stopped Lj’ing since I went away. That’s 25% of my F-list. Wow. That number surprised me. 1 out of 4 LJ’ers on my list were just there in name value only.

Also, 126 people are on the RSS feed to this from LJ, yet only 102 are from my F-list making me wonder who the other 24 are. Probably B-H’ers or from some of the other communities I ran. 34 people who are not on the RSS feed  are on my Myspace, so that’s 136 out of 225 LJ’s still active on my friend’s list, or 60% I’ve managed to stay in contact with. Not bad. Especially when most of the people who don’t know about this or the Myspace were people who read me that I barely knew at best.

Anyway, the real point of this post is there are 15 people I still have to manage to stay in contact with, but a good portion of them have F-Only LJ’s so I haven’t been able to leave a comment or various other reasons why I haven’t been able to contact them.

Bobthegoat, chloegoth, chrissmari, frankie23, gygaxis, ladygaia, lizerk, misscato, noise-chick, nyslayer, revvoice, scarybaldguy, verona, VVVV, xeyro

Stuff I should probably own but don’t

Tuesday, December 26th, 2006

1. Digital Camera.

Why? Because I tend to actively avoid photos and thus any of me are years old. Plus there are things I probably should take pictures of (like bunnies!) but alas, no camera. I do have a Pokemon camera that is old and costs me 5 bucks on Ebay, but even Dan the almost but not quite professional photographer couldn’t get the bleedin’ thing to work.

2. Microwave.

I have not used a microwave since oh, 1999. Eight years. I hate microwaveable foods. I won’t buy them. And if I have leftovers, I prefer to use the oven so as to not to lose any flavour or texture. I absolutely hate microwaves, yet when people come over and view my kitchen they almost always ask where mine is and then why I don’t have one.

3. Wall decorations.

Well, I finally am starting to get some with the Charles Addams stuff, but since I moved back to America, I just haven’t had any art on my walls. In college and in Portland, I had tons of crap, but I guess I just haven’t seen the need to get any.

4. Slippers

I probably should have some. Especially on days when the rabbits have been doing it in the litter box as it kicks grime all over and when I wake up…ew. And people wonder why I sweep my house 4 days a week. ;-P

5. A Wii.

But if I did, then I’d pressure myself into writing more video game crap and I won’t be having that! No no no!
I’m just trying to keep myself awake at this point… Oh man, am I beat.


Back to the Grind

Tuesday, December 26th, 2006

My god, I wish I had today off. I am totally wiped today. Damn bunnies would not let me sleep. I really have to start looking in to telecommuting more.

Yesterday was fun for Christmas. Usually I’m stark raving bored because there is nothing to do in Minneapolis as the whole city shuts down for the Holiday. However Spike, his friend Dan and I went out for Chinese and then to a Mexican place for dessert. Then I came home, played some FFXII,bt I’ve gotten to the super bored stage with it where I can’t play it for more than an hour.

Then I made the mistake of putting in Gene Simmon’s Family Jewels. I picked up the first season on DVD for 15 bucks on a lark because I saw an episode while in Philly and thought it was pretty good. Well, I ended up watching the entire collection in one sitting. I never do that. I can’t sit on the couch that long. But I do so here.

I usually loathe reality TV shows, but this was hilarious, well done, and I happen to like KISS. I swear, most people should have a relationship and family even a fraction as happy/fun as the Simmons/Tweed coupling. Really good show. It will remain the only reality TV series in my DVD collection. However, if the first season of “I’m a Celebrity, Get me out of here!” ever comes out on DVD in the States, I will most likely purchase it to show my fellow Americans what passes for high levels of entertainment in the UK.

It appears my ersatz vampire hunter has begun stalking some of my old LJ friends. Jessica got two psycho messages from him, so if it happens my best advice for you is to just ignore the comments and his insanity.  Just remember that the guy is in his late 60’s/early 70’s and will most likely die soon and is probably clinging to the last threads of his schizo fantasy life realizing he’s gone to die hideously mocked by anyone who has ever heard of him.

Ah yes, before I forget. After driving 100 miles each way on Christmas Eve to a teeny tiny town in MN, I’ve formulated my list of ten things I hate about driving. Now, this list can easy be applied to any place one lives. I just find MN has a larger portion of drivers that need to be drug from their cars and shot.

1. People who do not use turn signals when changing lanes.

2. People who drive 10-15 miles UNDER the speed limit.

3. People who refuse to pass no matter what so you get a convoy of cars going 10-15 miles under the speed limit and cars going the other way are nicely interspersed and going the correct speed so it takes you forever to get an open spot to pass the 5 or so retards in front of you.

4. People without brake lights who wait untilt he last second then slam on their brakes where a red light is upon them or they are coming up to close on another car.

5. People who drive as close as they can to the little white lines on the road so that they occasionally go into the other lane and they seem blissfully ignorant or why people flick them off or honk at them in that lane.

6. Vans and/or SUV’s filled with people all wearing Santa hats and are bouncing around to some fucking stupid Christmas song they are all singing and the driver is paying more attention to the sing along than his driving and so his guy bounces all over the road.

7. People who drive with their brights on in town.

8. People who turn their brights on only when another car is coming towards them in the opposing lane, then turn them off after they have passed each other.

9. Towns where street signs are non existant, and thus you wonder where the fuck you are and how the natives know how to give directions when entire blocks go by when there are no street signs going either way. I generally call this “Rhode Island Syndrome.”

10. Cars who drive without any lights on at night.

 Driving sucks.

Current Mood: Exhausted

Jewish Christmas Eve!

Monday, December 25th, 2006

Yesterday I woke with cold sweats from a wacky nightmare. Usually I’m a lucid dreamer. I’m self aware that I’m dreaming and can have a minor conversation even while sleeping. Dreaming for me is like watching a movie. Literally. Theres a little me ala the gang from MST3K and my dreams unfold on a movie screen sort of thing. I trained myself to dream this way mainly because as a little kid I had night terrors every night for like 2-3 years straight. Not good. Not a good way to kick off the day either.

 Played a little FFXII, baked some breads, bought some cheeses and then I sort of begrudgingly made the 100 mile journey to Wilmar, MN to visit relatives for Christmas.

Now, I know what you’re saying. “Alex, aren’t you supposed to be Jewish? You have a Bubbe and everything!” Well, this is true, but my father’s side of the family are Luthern’s and they always ask me to come. I agree about once every three years because I’m not really a family hangout kinda guy. I’m not a black sheep. Not by any means, but I’m always feel under a microscope there. Plus, with no real cruelty meant towards them, my whole gimmicky schtick of “Minnesotans are inbred retarded hillbillies with Down Syndrome” with my readers probably started from my comparing my Midwestern residing relatives to the East Coast friends and family I had. I don’t feel the same way now, but as a little kid, oh my was there a distinct different in class, income, and style.

I get there and everyone’s like “OMG! HBK IN THA HOUSE!” Hugs, handshakes and then I was basically put on the spot for 30-45 minutes to talk about what i’ve bene up to. I can’t tell you how much I hate that sort of thing. It feels like I’m doing a monologue of nothing but bragging. I know I’m a pretty cocky and egotistical guy, but I prefer my actions to do the “Hey! I’m fucking great” rather than me espousing to people that I am. I’ve never been a talker about myself. Blogger, yes. talker no :-P

Other than that, it was okay. Nothing painful or embarassing, as usually happens. Jen called and she managed to save me from family crap for about tne minutes until they attempted to harrass and embarass me into family board game time. Oy. Thankfully I only had to play for like 30 minutes before Stephanie and Castle arrived.We then speant most of the night talking to each other.

I’m not even going to talk Christmas eve dinner/snacking aside from the fact my food was wolfed down within 15-20 minutes of me bringing it while cocktail weenies and fuzzy chicken wings is not my idea of a repast. Still, they liked it and I’m a food snob. Very different tastes which shows from for upbringing I suppose.

Then came 3 hours of present opening. Everyone sits in a circle and then you go around the circle opening a present one by one until everyone is done. Now when I was a tiny child this was great. It was why I’d visit these relatives for Christmas. I got awesome presents! Christmas was the incarnation of greed for me, and I suppose that’s true for all children. Then of course I got into my “OMG! Christianity is evil and caused the crusades and the Pope supported Hitler and blah blah blah” phase for a couple years as tweener. Nowadays of course I’m mature enough to know it’s the people and how they individually treat and espouse their religion that matters and not the overall stereotype. Of course, I’ve gone from the greedy little kid who got like a dozen transformers every year (Ultra Magnus! Woot!)_ to a person that really tries to keep his material possessions to a minimum. On the 23rd I sold about 30 DVD’s and 200 CD’s simply because I was like “Oh, I don’t need this many. Time to chuck.” My parents are both pack rats and I’m the opposite, so now Christmas equates in my brain to, “TOO MUCH CRAP IN MY HOME!”

After present opening, they got ahold of a few of the magazines and articles I’ve written and passed them around. Flattering but embarassing at the same time. I will say this, in the last issue of Pokemon magazine (which they all pronounce Pokemans) I wrote have the issue. Holy crap!

Then at 10:30pm, they went to church and Steph, Castle, and I decided to drive back down to the Cities. Although they live in LA, they have a home in Victoria they are trying to sell because hey, their feelings on Minnesota are the same as mine when I’m not playing up the whole HBK gimmick: Decent place, very developed artsy music scene, good below average sized city to raise kids in, but just really doesn’t mesh well with our lifestyles and interests. (what can I say? New Blog = far less pressure to be in Subcultural Icon mode 24/7)

We got back about 1am. Stephanie wants me to come for Xmas dinner at her place tonight, but I’d rather it just be her, Castle, and her brother Scott and Shae. Nuclear family sort of thing. Besides, I’m not Christian and Christmas isn’t a holiday I actively think of until someone brings it up. It’s a time for those where the holiday means something.

That’s pretty much it. I’ll end up putting a more personal and introspective post in my Myspace about family and my background with it. It’s only on Myspace simply because I can’t friend’s only post in this blog, where I can there and I’d rather have personal stuff open to a select few and not everyone who has remotely heard of me (Say oh, vampire hunters?)

Anyway, have a great Christmas people!

CURRENT MOOD: Indifferent

Miami Food

Friday, December 22nd, 2006

Almost all of today has been prepping for the Sales Meeting in Miami. I got us a round of golf for $30 a head (plus cart!) for 16 people at a country club. I’ve got all 9 2 bedroom townhouses rented. We’re 15 minutes from the beach. But now the big thing of course remains the food.

We’re definitely going to have dinner one night at Yuca’s. I love Cuban food. I really really do. It’s still some time away and I’ve found I am already trying to decide between the Grille Chillean Salmon or the Plantain covered Dolphin. Yes, you read that correctly. Flipper for dinner. The side of me that is “OMG! Try everything you can while you can!” it at odds with the part of me going “Dude, It’s Dolphin. That’s fucked up.”

I also know we’ll hit the Blue Door for drinks one night. From there though, there’s a bit of contention. For example most of my sales people are meat and tater kinda guys. It’s a conservative industry and thus they have conservative good ol’ boy tastes. I, on the other hand, think it would be a crime against humanity if we didn’t go to Nobu. I mean, it’s Nobu. How can I not go. Alas, it’ll probably be a solo venture unless I can swing Jen to come along. Not sure if she likes Japanese though.

Other places I really want to dine at while there include:

Tantra if only for the atmosphere
B.E.D., because it looks like an orgy waiting to happen
Grillfish for the sense of style and the amazing seafood dishes

My customer service reps want to know if I can send them home early. My boss and her boss are both out today which does effectively put me in charge of everything, but again I’m torn. There’s the “Don’t abuse your power/responsibility combo” vs. the “It’s Christmas and nothing is happening at all today!” mentality.

Bah. I’m just bored as shit today.

Current Mood: Bored


Friday, December 22nd, 2006

My god, it took me over an hour to get home last night. I believe XM Traffic said the average speed was 16 miles an hour. On a Highway. And it wasn’t even that bad out. The first big snow of the winter though, 95% of the drivers seem to fear going over 20 mph. It’s like they somehow lost the ability to drive in this shit over the six month period where we don’t have snow.

Thinking about life past IP, I have to figure out what to write. I know I’ll always have Pokemon and Beckett as a writing source of income, but I’m also looking in to doing a few other things, such as writing for National Geographic, Gourmet, or the like. One article I’d like to do is a two week stint at La Rochelle in Japan. Just working however they’d let me. No pay, just food and room. It would be to cover a few things such as French Cuisine done Japanese, a bio bit on Hiryouki Sakai, and a look at how life is treating the Iron Chefs, half a decade after the show’s worldwide apex. The problem would be the rabbits of course, but I suppose if push came to shove I could Morimoto’s in Philly.

As well, by the time 2007 is done, I’ll have enough points on my Marriott Rewards card to get a round trip on the Orient Express. That would be a nice little article too, I think. Writing up on the history and the food and the overall character of the world’s most famous train.

Of course, there’s always my usual stuff that I can get published, but I’m thinking of doing a bit of a variation during my hiatus. If only to prove to myself I can.

By 4pm my time, Widro should know if a cool biz venture of his is going through. If it does, I might be a part of it. Huzzah!

Kind of a dull day today.


Thursday, December 21st, 2006

Damn you Minnesota and your foul evil snow! Yeesh, I hope this isn’t the same storm that has effectively killed Denver. Well, at least I’ll get to work from home tomorrow. For the holiday season my boss just bought me a book on being subversive with crazy facts like how quickly you can drive a person insane by putting pressure on specific areas of their skull, and things like that. Also little facts like MSG is a massive depressant, as is Nutrasweet. This book rocks!  I just got the following email, and Quinn, it’s almost tempting enough that we do this instead of New Orleans for Halloween if only because of the comedy of ALEXANDER LUCARD BEING INVITED TO TRANSLYVANIA FOR HALLOWEEN. Come on people, this kind of material practically writes itself. 

 Have yourself a haunted horror holiday…Can’t think of a unique gift for the holiday season? Here’s something you could sink your teeth into even after the holidaze! Treat someone to the ultimate haunted horror experience — a “vampire vacation!”
“DraculaTour,” is the travel adventure which takes you to Eastern Europe’s most
infamous land of the unholy, Transylvania (in Romania). For one week next year,
either July 10-17, 2007, or October 27-November 3rd, 2007, experience the
definitive haunted holiday with fellow fans, friends & fiends of the macabre on
a vacation that is scary, spooky, campy - but most of all - fun for all
ages! “DraculaTour” is the only true fully-guided, professionally-escorted “vampire vacation” professionally organized by fans especially for fans. This annual pilgrimage to Transylvania is presented by Tours of Terror, who organize and host both the Summer version of the tour and the popular Halloween week trip, along with the annual haunted “GHOSTour.” The very special guest tourguide for the Summer trip (July, 2007) is horror hostess Darvella, from television’s “Vampire Lounge.” She will be onboard throughout the tour to mingle with travelers, and be available for photos and autographs. The last horror host to join us was TV personality/actor Butch “Eddie Munster” Patrick.

“Dracula Tour” follows Jonathan Harker’s trail from the novel “Dracula,” while throwing in all sorts of spooky surprises along the way. There is a mock witch trial, visits to haunted graveyards and time spent in the world’s largest and oldest torture museum. There is both educational and entertainment value as the tour includes historical Bran Castle, Clock Tower, the Black Church, Vlad’s birthplace, Vlad’s castle (also known as Dracula’s fortress) and also the monastery where Vlad is buried. It’s the perfect combination of fun and fear, for anyone looking for an unusual week-long ghoulish getaway. Vampires, vampire fans and even vampire slayers are welcome, and all get along harmoniously on this travel adventure.

The highlight of the “Dracula Tour” is undoubtedly spending the night at Dracula’s Castle. All travelers dress in their best costumes, eat a lavish meal, experience a surprise “vampire” encounter, descend to the dungeon of the castle where “the coffin” lies waiting, dance to appropriate macabre music (everything from “The Monster Mash” to music from “Rocky Horror”), partake in a moonlit bonfire and simply have the times of their lives … even if they’re part of the undead. Every year, one couple takes the experience one step further — they get married during the trip with their ceremony and reception at Dracula’s Castle, and all the fellow travelers are guests at this unique wedding! Whereas most couples kiss after their cake-cutting ceremony, the bride and groom bite each other’s necks (lovingly, of course).

What are some of the other highlights of this trek of terror? Along with actually following in the footsteps of Jonathan Harker’s trail from Bram Stoker’s novel “Dracula,” you will spend time in Bucharest ascending the Carpethian Mountains to Vlad Castle. You will be part of a hair-raising (spirit-raising?) séance in a secluded graveyard in Brasov. You will see the Black Church and haunted Farmer’s Market in Sighisoara, birthplace of Dracula (Vlad). You will visit the eerie Clock Tower and Square History Torture Museum. You will embark on a journey through Borgo Pass to Dracula’s Castle! You will also explore the Snagov Monastery (Tomb of Dracula) as well as the Transylvanian Castle of Bran, a fortress built in 1377 and preserved as national monument. And that’s just the sightseeing part of the trip. Our nights are filled with howling parties, witch trials, bonfires and surprises. There’ll be more head-turning than in an Exorcist movie!

This professionally-guided, fully-escorted tour is ideal for the single traveler, but also is well-suited for couples and also families. If you’re the type who would enjoy dressing up (or down) for a masquerade ball in Dracula’s Castle, or if you can imagine have a blood-suckingly great time partying under a full moon in a land that time forgot, this is the tour experience of a lifetime (even if you’re part of the undead!). And it’s the most inventive holiday gift for anyone into such a vacation.

“Dracula Tour” is presented in association with Horrorfind.com, Chiller Theatre, Monster Bash, Haunted Attraction Magazine, VampFangs, MonsterMania and the Fright Catalogue. It’s a $4500 value for only $1999 per person (this is the last time the tour will be priced this low), based on double occupancy. Package price includes round-trip airfare from the NY metro area, deluxe hotel accommodations, meals, transfers, luxury coach ground transportation, all events - parties - guests appearances - attractions - admissions. Reservations are now being accepted, and space is limited.

To read about past tours, or for additional information (along with travelers’ testimonials and photos), visit our website. Email us for the link. For a free color brochure, write to Tours of Terror at 315 Derby Avenue, Orange, CT 06477 or call toll-free (866) T-E-R-R-OR-T-O-U-R. The direct line is (203) 795-4737. We also produce the annual “GHOSTour” (a Haunted Horror Vacation to England September 10-17, 2007) and our music-theme trips, notably the “Magical History Tour” for Beatles fans. Please write or call for details.

Although the Vampire Vacation takes place in July and over Halloween time, we will gladly include post-holiday gift card notices with travel vouchers for anyone reserving space on any of the tours as gifts.

Happy Horrordaze and Beast Witches!

LOL. Vampires.  

Current Mood: Amused

News Stories

Thursday, December 21st, 2006


Emirates Airlines is going to allow cell phone use on their flights. Damn you Middle East!


Kate from Lost’s home burns down in Hawaii. I personally blame Sawyer because he probably had some sort of insurance scam going on. See Kate? Should’ve gone with Jack!

Hmm…fire though. Where there’s fire…there’s smoke. OMG! SMOKE MONSTER IZ REALS!


Thank fuck that we have only one Harry Potter book left. God I hope they kill him.


Forrest Gump Makeup artists kills her husabdn and then herself. You know. I’ve never been to the Bubba Gump Shrimp we have in Bloomington. Is it any good?


Catholic Church Podcasts!


Yay for Hawaii and it’s state wide “Smoking is for suckers!” ban!


She has two wombs!


In wacky Jesus news, a group of nutty Polish members of Parliment are trying to have a bill declared that would make Jesus Christ king of Poland.


Somalia is at war with Ethiopia. Over what? It sure as fuck isn’t food.


Robots to recieve housing and health care benefits. See, ANYTHING can get on the dole!

Current Mood: Sick

Sleepy Thursday

Thursday, December 21st, 2006

I have to bring my car into day to have its brake lights replaced. I got a recall notice inthe mail and I was like “Danger of brake lights failing + MN Drivers + cold weather = Dead Alex.” I also have a business luncheon today. Busy busy.

We’ve decided on Miami for my Jan trip. I’ll be there from the 13th to the 16th-17th. You know, I’ve never been?

I’ll be sending out virtual Pokemon Xmas cards on Myspace tonight to my f-list there. There are 11 different versions so if you’re truly into Pokemania, you’ll have to track down to see who got what.

My Charles Addams art arrived yesterday. Holy crap is this thing huge. I knew the measurements but still in my head thought it would be a normal little wall framing. This thing is nearly poster size. Wow. it’s awesome. I really hope Sortelli starts selling original Elf Only Inn art like he’s been talking about, as I’d love for some of that on my wall. I’m also tempted to get the “gothic dance” art from Achewood.

Nothing fancy for this evening. Just working out, some light reading, probably make something simple for dinner like Lamb or bison with edamame.

Oh. Two things!

1.  Am I like the only Person alive who thinks the Josie & the Pussycat movie is hilariously awesome? I mean, it’s like really good. I’ve loved this movie for years, and the only two other people I can think of who like it are Hatton and Chris.
2. http://ssshotaru.homestead.com/files/aolertranslator.html



Current Mood: SLEEPY

Day-o! Daaaaaay-O.

Wednesday, December 20th, 2006


Just click on this link. Truly the headline for this story is the greatest ever written. All must read it!


Questions asked to this website that they couldn’t bring themselvf to answer for whatever reason.

Did some shopping over my lunch break and saw a three pack of Good Eats DVD’s at Target for $19.99. A bit pricey for only 210 minutes, but much less expensive than on Foodtv.com. I do enjoy Alton Brown though!

I’m debating on what to do with this and My new Myspace. Widro is going to be sending me a file of everything I’ve ever written for IP. A few thousand things. Oy. I’ll probably upload them here. I’ll use alexanderlucard.com as a searchable database of all my work, ranging from video game reviews to Nyogtha columns. More and more I’m thinking about alexanderlucard.com just being a collective of my work, my blog, and that sort of stuff and have the Myspace for people I know IRL. Tat would probably be where I’ll post wacky pictures and stuff like that.

HBK World Tour 2007 has a last minute addition to Jan. It looks like I’ll be in either FL, LA, or TX from Jan 13-16. Where isn’t finalized yet though.
EDIT: At this point it’s either going to be El Paso, San Antonio, Miami, Cape Canaveral, or Savannah.

I am so glad this will be my last year ever doing gaming awards. I swear to god, by the end of Dec, all I want to do is murder everyone even tangically connected with the industry. We’ve got one company that puts out mediocre games consistently whining that we nominated one of his games for an award. Who complains about an award nomination. He’s like “You only gave the game a five! How can we be nominated? Wah!” My outright blunt response would be to say “Hey fuck head. Be thankful you’re getting any extra free publicity from us.” But the correct response is “We ran out of any quality games for this category because it was a shit year for this niche, so we took what we could get.” Ugh.